CHALLENGE. I’ve decided to start the MadameLuke To-Do List Challenge, wherein I post my real, honest to goodness daily to-do list and then, if you see fit, you can compete in the spur-of-the-moment challenge and post your list as well and we can all gaze longingly at the mundane tasks we are all mired in and see, as my former bandmate Jill Fido once so eloquently put it, “the work that disappears.”

What, you are asking, does the winner get? First, let us define “winner.” Is the winner the one who has the shortest list? Longest? Most mundane? Least? Or perhaps the one who includes the most easily completed tasks (“socks/shoes”) just to garner that feeling of achievement? (Don’t laugh, we all do it.) Maybe the winner will just be apparent. Now don’t cheat. Don’t make things up like “wallow in despair for hours on end,” although I will say right now that I did have a to-do list with the following task: Develop new roll. The list became crumpled and lost in the bottom of my bag and by the time I found it I was deep in a funky funk (shocking) and when I read “Develop new roll (role)” it meant something far beyond the 35mm of black and white of its original intent. Develop beyond mother/wife/laundress/cook/maid/shitwiper? But how? How, when the only things asked of me in my own home are 1) Is the dishwasher clean or dirty? 2) What’s for dinner? 3) Have you changed your mind about a bottle? I digress only because it was the deepest moment I ever had with a To-do list entry.

The rules: 1) I get to make the rules. 2) Only the real to-do list from the day of the Challenge, no cool hold-overs from a better to-do day. 3) I’ll pick the winner and then you can argue with me. 4) I love to argue. 5) I love lists. 6) And rules.

QUESTIONS. How many To-do lists do you keep? A daily one (bank, p/u prescription) and then a long-term one (fix roof)? How long do you carry over tasks before you either give up on them or realize that you just won’t forget? A week? A month? I have been writing Blue Cross Claim Forms for over a month.

TO-DO LIST CHALLENGE!!!
Kim’s To-Do List for Wednesday, October 6, 2004
- Blue Cross claim forms
- Song permissions (for play)
- Follow up LHJ essay
- Water new trees
- Plant sweet peas (on list for 1 week)
- Make apnea appt for dh
- Send script to rf
- Appts for k & m
- Script changes to Ian
- Bank
- Office max/envelopes
- Phone list for e’s class
- Practice songs on slide (!!!! One month on list)
- Change strings on slide
- Bank statements (2)
- Fed. Tax deposit/September
- New grips on scooter (for bike to school day tomorrow!!!)
- Find e’s library books
- 10:20 work in e’s classroom

Seeing as it’s 3:45 pm local time, I imagine tomorrow’s list will look a lot like today’s list. Damn. Okay. I’m happy to say that all I did all damned day was sit and write. Harumph. I’d do it again. (Just because I make a to-do list doesn’t mean I have to DO the to-do list.) (and all the colored girls sing do to-do to-do do do do, do to-do to-do do do do……)

kim

COCKY MO-FO. I went out last night, in public, with my dh and no children and parlayed in multi-syllabled conversation till the wee hours of the morning. We ate embarrassing amounts of sushi (without embarrassment), strolled (strolled!) across the street for dessert (dessert without smiley faces, cartoon character tie-ins or wrappers) and then saw a movie. Is there anything worse than disappointing dessert? Why can’t anyone in this town make a real cannoli? Dh compared the one he tried last night to a “wine donut.” Now, being a woman who likes both wine and donuts, I take offense at that. Cannolis should have cheese and pistachios. Period. (Shut up and make one, Kim. Okay, fine.) Anyway, I would like to say the movie we saw will have no marketing tie-ins as well, but since it involved zombies, it just might. “Shaun of the Dead.” Very funny. I recommend it, and I don’t generally go in for that sort of thing. Which brings me to my next train of thought…

ZOMBIES vs. VAMPIRES. While deciding to see the aforementioned movie, I got to thinkin’, “I would never see this movie if it was a vampire flick.” And that started me wondering. Why? Am I not an equal opportunity undead watcher? Apparently not. Vampires, I think, are snotty, what with their fancy fashions, perfect skin and ideolgy (“be one of us!”). Zombies are much more comfortable dressers, move slower and seem to have less lofty ideals (“eat you now”). In other words, I am more like a zombie, at least on the outside. But the more my dh and I discussed this, the more we realized that no matter how snooty, vampires are truly cooler than zombies. For instance, in a restaurant crowded with equal parts zombies and vampires, let’s say Alec Baldwin enters and walks modestly to his reserved table. While the vampires might look up and give a barely perceptible knowing nod as if to say “yo”, the zombies would be the ones spilling their fruity umbrella drinks and yelling “that’s Alex Baldwin!” Dh, in the end had to remove himself from the debate after I reminded him that he is, in fact, undead himself (he has donor bone in his right ankle…along with seven screws and a couple of titanium plates. A story for another day.) Oh, one last thought, I’ve never seen a zombie chick that made me feel bad about myself, whereas vampire gals…well, you get the idea. They’re just so hot. (If you put a corset on a zombie, it might cut her in half.)

Kim

Is it any wonder that two of my favorite words (I have many) are “aplomb” (confidence and poise, especially in challenging circumstances) and “apoplexy” (a fit of anger) considering that I generally vacillate regularly between the two on a daily, sometimes hourly basis? In fact, I usually start with one (either will do), then depending on the flow and number of witnesses, transition into the other. Here’s a common example that can “Kerry” either way (new verb usage for flip-flop, thank you very much). Kim, mother of three, attempting to get all of her various-aged monkeys into their various models of car seats in the back seat of her Volvo in a timely fashion (read: NOW!WE’REFUCKINGLATEAGAIN!) Take One, Begin with Aplomb (the neighbors are watching):

Me: Okay! Everyone in, don’t want to be late!
Eldest: I forgot my pony.
Me: She’ll be waiting when we get home.
Middle: I forgot my pony.
Me: Silly boy, you don’t have a pony (kiss kiss buckle)
Baby: Pony Pony (squirm)
Me: Come here, you little monkey (tickle buckle)
(close doors, lock doors, transitioning to apoplexy)
Me: Damnit we’re late again. Eldest, buckle your little monkey brother! Hurry! Or your pony gets it! (Revving engine as threat.)

Take Two, Begin with Apoplexy (aint nobody here but us chickens)

Me: Ack! We’re late! Get in the car!
Middle: I don’t have shoes
Me: You don’t need shoes – I’m not letting you out ever again!
Eldest: I forgot my pony!
Me: Pony schmony let’s GO!
Baby: Mommy poopy
Me: NOT NOW!!!!!
(leaving house notice neighbors walking dog, transition to aplomb)
Me: Now-ow-ow (singing) not now-ow-ow, don’t leave me…oh, good morning!

kim

POLITICS! FROM KIM!! (Well, sort of…) Watching the Presidential debate tonight (Kerry spanks Bush) my mind kept wandering, mostly during the Bush speaking parts, and I think that is survival instinct on my behalf to keep my blood pressure down. However, after the first few minutes it was clear that I could watch AND listen, since he was digging his own hole, sniffing around in it like the dog he is, and hunkering down in it for the night. But my mind did continue to wander back to the same question, based on the Republican Party’s entire campaign of “September 11 – Vote for Bush” mindtwister. Here’s where my mind kept going: What if September 11th had actually happened on October 4th? Would everyone be going around saying “10-4?” Would the Republicans be coining “10-4 good buddy, Bush, over and out” or some other cockamamie thing? Would the war on terror be conducted like a trucker convoy? Would cb radios be the new vogue (aren’t they really anyway)? Would we be asking “Terrorists: What’s their 20?” (That means where are they.) I think I may be revealing way too much of my knowledge of cb radio-speak and culture here, so I may just have to let you imagine the rest. And I don’t mean to be disrespectful of the REAL 9/11 here. I mean, my mind just wanders and wonders. Over.

And by the way, are our troops really “fighting vociferously” as President Bush claims? Are they yelling and screaming or debating the insurgents? Or perhaps because the troops aren’t equipped properly they’re having to fake their arsenals like a Batman episode (“Bam!” “Ka-Pow!”). What word do you think he was searching for? Viciously? Voraciously? (Are they hungry? Well read?) Hmmm…nu-cu-ler…

I don’t feel so bad about voting for the Not-Bush after tonight.

Kim