June 27, 2005
-
I’M A WINNER!! Well, a little higher up on the loser list. Another of my plays has been included in a festival, and this one is in New York!! Um…state, not city. And it’s still a ten-minute play. I am not downplaying this success, for any writing success at this stage in my life, what with the three kids under the age of seven and the multiple personalities (okay, they call it bi-polar, but if you ask my husband he has a different diagnosis) I should be ecstatic, grateful or at least utterly shocked. And I am. And I have serious designs on full-length plays, just not serious time or energy, not necessarily in that order.
SUMMER LESSON #1. Have you ever re-filled a water gun four-hundred-fifty times while trying your damndest to carry on with other things like, oh, say, EVERYTHING ELSE?!?!?!?! (This is before you figure out to leave a bucket of water out for the “submerge and fill” method.) After the four-hundred-fifty-first time when your two year old says “It’s empty,” you explain that is because he insists on squirting the gun and using up his precious ammunition. You further explain that if he will take a lesson from our esteemed military spin doctors, he should simply fill his squirt gun up to the hilt, wave it around the front yard and point out to his siblings that he has the ultimate power to squirt them, if necessary, as a defensive move, and that he clearly has the superior water power to wipe them off the face of the grass. This will stop all incoming attacks as well as the undesireable side effect of “empty squirt gun.”
SUMMER LESSON #2. Don’t buy squirt guns (or “water squirters” as we so desperately referred to them until our kids entered the outside world). However…it is really, really satisfying to squirt your kids, and sometimes the hose is just too aggressive, especially if you have one of those gardening hose attachments with different choices of water sprays such as “soaker” (boring!), “center spray” (raining!) or “jet” (take that, you PBJ-on-my-barkcloth-curtains-shithead!!).
kim
Comments (5)
congrats, you rockin’ head-bangin’ milf you!
snort – milf – snort!
kim
that is awesome!! The play, not the “water squirters”
Of course any writing success is success!! And each will build upon the next, baby.
do you think that “submerge and fill” method could work with milk and Pirate’s Booty? hmmm.. this might revolutionize my parenting!
congrats on the play! does this mean you get to go to NY to see it performed?
ROFLOL! Ahhh, the memories. Congrats on a play in New York. Very exciting. I need to a. clean the garage b. find our hose attachment and c. do some experimentation on these different squirting methods…..especially jet…muhahaha muhahaha.