Tonight at dinner my loving husband ate three and and a half beef sandwiches to my half.  This infuriated me.  My loving husband is six foot three and weighs in at 185 soaking wet.  I, on the other hand, am five foot seven and three-quarters and would never consider being weighed soaking wet.  In fact, I often remove my earrings and exhale completely before stepping on the scale (although do I alternate this ridiculous behaviour with days of heartfelt body-positive feelings).  So anyway, you may recall an earlier conversation we had about the fat/bald thing we have here.  (me/him)  Here is the latest installation of our lovefest:

Me (as he’s finishing my sandwich after his previous 3):  It’s really not fair that your stomach is so obviously larger, and yet mine LOOKS so much larger.

Him:  Well, it’s really all relative.  I’m a bigger person.

Me:  You’re talking about character and moral fortitude, aren’t you.

Him:  Yes.  Your fatness is a punishment.

God, I love him.

kim

(p.s.  since i don’t know how to paste a bump to a previous post, i’ll paste a conversation i put here in october 2004.  aaah…the romance burns long and strong:

WHY WE ARE STILL MARRIED. Here’s a little peek into a typical
exchange that may help others who are wondering how some couples stay
together for soooo long (12 years and counting):

Dh: Should I shave my beard?
Me: But then your head would be back to 90% bald!
Dh: I resent your attack on my being follicle challenged.
Me: Well, maybe I resent your being follicle challenged! (laughing)…Okay, now you can make a fat joke.
Dh: I resent your being a fat ass.)