THE GRASS IS ALWAYS SOMEWHAT GREENER LOOKING IN THE RIGHT LIGHT IF YOU SQUINT…Two years ago I thought to myself, “Self, what you really need is a job.  A job to pull you out of this funk and make you feel like yourself again, talk to grown-ups, be part of adult life outside the home and all that.  Now here it is, June 2007, and I have a job that started innocently enough  – part time, in my field of expertise, no commute to speak of, flexible.  And then it morphed into this full time behemoth of a stress monster that makes me have nightmares about things like fiscal close.  FISCAL CLOSE!!!  That is just not right.  Forgetting to wear pants to school is a normal nightmare.  Being in your house and looking for the forgotten room is a normal nightmare.  Dreaming about fiscal close is not a normal nightmare.  It’s being awake while you’re asleep – and not getting paid. 

And yet I continue.  Thrive, to outward appearances.  Dominate even.  Kick friggin’ ass on some special days.  Then go home and spank ass because I am so stressed out.  I wish I had a vice that helped me relax.  I need more slacker and less go-getter.

The friends I had, I no longer see.  The kids I have, I see when I am depleted or on my way somewhere else.  And yet I know it’s maybe better than the not working. 

What’s a gal to do.

Still here.
Kim (Madame Luke to You)

Madame Luke at the De Young visiting Vivienne’s bustles…

Madame Luke (aka Wild Kim crica 1984)…

The wheel of life or my hamster wheel…something keeps me going.