February 18, 2008
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MADAME LUKE CELEBRATES BIRTHDAY – SOMEHOW DEFIES AGING PROCESS or HUMOR ME, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY
Today is my birthday. I celebrated appropriately by going on the lam with my favorite sidekick, buying multiple pairs of shoes and returning home to eat the most decadent chocolate cake ever. I am sated. And not the least concerned that I am one year older. Nor am I now concerned that I am ten seconds older than I was just then. Nope, don’t care a’tall. I’ll tell you why. My life is only getting more and more interesting. For instance…
FROM INFANT TO PIRATE IN ONE MONTH: THE MEDICAL MIRACLE
The calendar year so far has been challenging healthwise, not to say traumatic, just annoying. But at least I like my doctor and his staff, I have health insurance and am 100% certain that I am the only person any of you know (virtually or in reality) who has received the diagnoses of the following two afflictions within the same month, afflictions which are demographically and nomenclaturally (is that a word?) comical. Are you ready? You will think me a liar and a fraud, but perhaps a more interesting party guest (at least after the anti-biotics are finished): Thrush and scurvy. Yes, I have gone from infant to pirate, traveled from crib to high seas, pacifier to cutlass, all within four to six weeks time. I’m thinking next up for me will probably be St. Vitus Dance, carbuncles or cat scratch fever. And of course I always mistake whooping cough for a good old time, until I have it. (Note to pirates, mothers of babies with thrush, and sufferers or caregivers of others with unfortunately named diseases: I am really not intending to make light of any affliction or hardship caused by ill health, only the names we attach to these afflictions. Please take this in the spirit I offer. Signed, Dr. Smart Ass)
This is apparently today’s reference image for scurvy, according to the
world wide inter-web-net. I don’t actually feel this menacing or
criminally inclined right now, although I wouldn’t put it past me, if
you know what I mean.This is not at all what thrush looked or felt like. If this is what thrush looked or felt like, people would be lining up to catch it. I chose this image to represent my bout with thrush because if you do your own damned search for images you will be disgusted and thank me for not posting anything other than this nice woman resting peacefully with HER MOUTH SHUT.
BOWLING IS THE NEW BLACK or 2008 PUNK ROCK BOWLING TOURNAMENT, W00T!Mid-January saw the 10th annual Punk Rock Bowling Tournament in Las Vegas, brought to you (us) by BYO Records. Let me just say that any reason to bowl, sleep, socialize, “hydrate” and then start the whole process over and over again ad infinitum (well, okay, somewhat finitum – a four day weekend for most) is just a great way to start the year. Bowling is underrated. Punk rock is nostalgic. Las Vegas is iconic. Sam’s Town Casino is glorious in its simple, non-Strip, awkwardly American way. Lots of photos in my pictures page (I’ll try to get around to adding captions.)
Looks more like “welcome heave metal pirate club jugglers.”These are the Lane Asses, who just happened to finish 16th out of 168 teams.
ROAD TRIP GOES SOUTH or HOW MUCH IS THAT GAS TANK IN THE WINDOW?
While performing designated driver duties (my favorite seat in any car) for Tiki King and the Idol Pleasures, I learned the hard way that a major backflow regulator manufacturing plant is located in San Luis Obispo County. This happened rather abruptly as I drove my vehicle over a piece of pipe that was rolling across Highway 101. This was very exciting, sounded like a brick in a clothes dryer, elicited shouts of “Holy shit!” and invocations of deities my fellow bandmates hadn’t been on speaking terms with in quite some time. Of course this was also the only other option to swerving, taking out three other cars on the next lane, and probably rolling the van and trailer we were pulling. We all survived, but my gas tank and transmisison cover did not. We also inadvertantly donated one full tank of gas to the ecosystem of San Luis Obispo, via cement, drainage ditch, gully, ground water, etc. For this we are eternally sorry. Oh, and for all the oil, too. We are grateful for AAA and for rental vans. The Ford Econoline E350 is the finest touring vehicle ever, and a hell of a nice drive. (There’s more pictures, look around!)
This is a beautiful rainbow of shame, guilt and near death. Isn’t it pretty? This was the only sixty minute window of non-precipitation all weekend, I do believe. The rest of the drive was more akin to driving through a wave. Really. It sucked.
These are vodka tonics made with almost enough Grey Goose vodka. These are immensely helpful when self-medicating after a near-death, and very expensive backflow vs. gas tank incident.
MADAME LUKE BECOMES TEENAGER or WHY IS MYSPACE SO BOOMBASTIC?
I’ll come clean here, since I’m being very “first person” and all. Part of the reason I’ve been remiss in posting is because I’ve been sucked into the parallel vortex known as MySpace. No, I’m not a teenager, thank you for asking. No, I’m not trying to meet teenagers, again thank you. You can see for yourself the good/no-good we’ve been up to (now pay attention, this is a new html trick I’ve learned – don’t be scared but I’m going to HIDE MY LINKS or whatever it’s called!!!! This is so exciting, as if I were a realio trulio geek or something…okay…these are just MySpace links, so click at will…well, now it’s not scary or sexy at all…oh well):
My own personal page and songs with other bands and goofy show tunes…even a performance art number!
Wow, aren’t you impressed that I can do that? I am.
Comments (4)
Seriously? I didn’t even know people could still get scurvy! Well, people who live in CALIFORNIA, that is… land of fresh citrus and all.
I am confused… I cannot see how you managed to get scurvy when the image of the drinks CLEARLY show you’ve had your fruit intakes.
Thrush on the otherhand, yeah lets go back to the image of the drinks. I ALWAYS get a thrush like infliction when I drink too many of those.
(Notice I have not posted ANYWHERE about my birthday doings, that is mostly because… I had tooooo many of those drinks and woke up with a thrush type affliction the next Sunday.javascript:selectMini(75)javascript:selectMini(153)
You’ll note that all of this olde timey disease getting has a lot to do with being in las vegas, being on antibiotics for something unrelated, and imbibing large quantities of beer. although there were limes involved, i apparently am sorely lacking in vitamin c. yaargh.
Hey look, you’re still on here! I need to remember to read my Xanga more often… happy belated birthday my dear!
your ass, woman, is anything but…. lane.