October 7, 2004
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TODDLER SWEARING. (Caution: toddler swearing.) Every mother has her own version of the swearing toddler story, and each thinks hers is the funniest and I am no exception. Anyone not familiar with the genre – imagine an 18-24 month old using words like “fork,” “fake” or “folk music.” My particular 2 year old happens to have met his Waterloo with the popular ogre Shrek, which in his capable hands (mouth) comes out, “f*ck.” Not sort of like it, or something close to it, just exactly it, with a capital F and all the exuberance and heartfelt enunciation that befits a big green charismatic swamp-dweller with a gorgeous, sassy wife.
Today we were in Payless Shoe Source trying to taking advantage of a closeout sale and right next to my size 9-1/2’s was an entire wall display of Shrek slippers. Well, my young son was so elated, so entirely giddy at this discovery that he could not, would not let up in his announcements to me as I tried on shoes a mere eight feet away from him (though you wouldn’t guess our proximity from his volume) “F*uck, mama! F*ck! F*ck shoes!” For the first couple of minutes I tried, at equal volume, to reinforce to the other listening shoppers (and there were many: SALE!) his speech mishap with, “Yes, honey it’s SHREK!” and “Uh-huh, SHREK shoes!” But after I realized that He. Was. Not. Going. To. Stop. Yelling. “F*ck shoes, mama!” over and over, I burst into uncontrollable giggles.
He finally shut up after discovering a pair of Dora sandals that light up (!) when stomped upon. He would then not leave quietly without the Dora sandals that light up, so of course he now owns his first pair of drag queen shoes. He wore them home, to bed for his nap and is now sporting them with only a diaper. (F*uck shoes, ha! Shoes rule.)
Kim
Comments (7)
Uh, yeah. We actually taught ours to say fuck, oh shit, and my favorite, asshat. Fortunately she has the grace not to say them in front of her grandma.
She likes to say fuck in front of our teenage babysitter because it makes her giggle. Amber is scandalized that we let Kaia swear at the tender age of 19 months.
Whenever I beep and curse at stupid drivers in traffic she says “Car! Asshat! Go ‘way!”
LMAO! I’ll never forget when Hod, my oldest, he was 5 or so (and we’d already had our little profanity discussion), said (as we were driving around listening to music) “Mommy. This song has fuck in it.”
I’m going to subscribe to you. I hope that’s okay. I doubt I will participate in your to do list contest, but you never know.
I can just see baby M showing his excitment for the adorable green swamp dweller, that cute cherubic face and those lovely words spewing forth, makes me want to giggle just thinking about it.
Atom2 sez F*** instead of fork, I used to get red faced and try to correct him, well now I just think it’s funny. It’s extra funny when Atom1 keeps saying “Mom he said F***!!!!” hehehe.
I’m going with the theory if you take the stigma off the word, they won’t want to use them so much…Yeah right.
My sister’s very first word was “shit!” – tells you a bit about my parents. I’m gonna subscribe too if you don’t mind! – Kate
(i should’ve known swearing would make me popular. subscribing makes me all giddy! oh, the pressure! wait, that’s probably just my bladder. kim)
B hasn’t picked up a lot of curses, but today I was much amused by his endless craving for a Douche Box.
So so funny. I would like to subscribe too. And you really started something with the lists. Some of my kids want to do it everyday now.