January 8, 2005

• HAPPY NEW YEAR! From possibly the laziest blogger around.

  There are two types of people in this world; those who divide people into two types of people in this world and those who refrain from such divisive nonsense. Not only do I wholeheartedly engage in labeling friends and strangers as one type or another, but I also take joy in sub-categorizing my fellow humans into various groups of little consequence, such as “those who salt prior to tasting” and “those who salt only after a nibble.” Among these either/or’s are Resolution Makers and Non-Resolution Makers. I am an enthusiastic resolution maker. Do I keep them? Hell no! That’s not the point. The point is to zero in on a perceived personal fault and get pro-active all over it, in the hip most pop culture lingo available. Accomplishing end results would be almost anticlimactic, and, I think, a little show-offy. I mean really, who’s going to like you any better if you lose twenty pounds, quit smoking, cursing and spending so much money, get a better job, treat people nicer and find your inner “you” anyway?

  MADAME LUKE’S NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS 2005

  1. Watch more movies. Not good movies – any movies. Not just art house movies, or only Wes Anderson movies or movies that involve Tim Burton or Tim Robbins or sub-titles or Walter Matthau, but any movies. Even movies with gratuitous violence or car chases or tough-talk, and maybe a love interest and if I try really hard I might even be able to force myself to see a blockbuster again.

  Has anyone else noticed that Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis seem to have traded careers?

  2. Go outside. Maybe right now. Maybe instead of doing this, right now, I could be outside doing something like walking or looking at a rock or talking to a neighbor or a stranger or nobody at all. I could be spending as little as ten minutes or as long as hours on end being out of doors, since I happen to live in an especially beautiful place, enjoying things like air, trees, flowers, sand, waves and the kind of fresh thoughts that only come with being outside.

  3. Play guitar. I have numerous guitars littering my house, some hanging on walls, some in cases, all formerly employed on a semi-full time basis in my not-so-distant past as an Alternative Country Rock Star Diva (yes, that is a real job description, somewhat akin to Cowboy Poet). Now they all sit dormant, collecting dust, reminding me of just another thing that I used to do. That is just plain stupid. Maybe I could play guitar outside or during a particularly bad movie (see above).

  4. See more plays. Don’t be threatened by the good ones, don’t be pissed off by the bad ones. Just go see them. Think about them and then be inspired to write. Or not. Just go.

  5. Finish stuff. Pick three or four pet projects for the year and go with them. Love them, embrace them and give them your all. Make notes on other things and save them for another year. If I continue to start and not finish projects, I fear that upon my death (and the assumption of some small success), my unfinished work will be doled out to half-wit hacks to ghost-write posthumously. I know, I’m nuts. What can I say.

  6. Paint the damn house. I have lived in my house for 2 years and 5 months and the interior has not been re-painted. Not one room, not one window frame. This would not be a problem if we hadn’t made improvements that included leaving gaping drywall patches here and there. And there are still push pins in remote corners of other rooms from the former owners. Time. To. Paint.

  7. Pay someone else to paint the damn house.

  8. Be fabulous. (I have included this on every list since 1993 or so in hopes that it would slip through the veto process one of these years and stick.)

  The best of everything to all in 2005. 2004 was one soul-sucking fucker here, so…yee ha.

  Kim

  • 10:52 pm
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